Give all of the fucks

“Zero fucks given.” It’s becoming a popular phrase bandied about when we want to imply we don’t care about something. But, let’s be honest, more often than not we do care. Here’s why I think we should give all of the f*cks and learn to honestly face why things affect us so that we can let them go.

Whether it’s a colleague copying your boss into an unflattering email, friends doing things without inviting you or realising you’re the last to hear about something, there are plenty of little things that can throw you off course.

When these things happen, it feels easier to just pretend we don’t care and shove them away in a box at the back of our mind. The problem with this is that the box won’t stay shut. It keeps popping open at inconvenient times, like when you’re trying to sleep, to remind you of all the little things that make you feel like crap.

So, I propose we acknowledge that we do, in fact, give a fuck and deal with these issues head on.

Don’t react in the moment
This is a hard-learned lesson — I know this from personal experience, and it is one I am still learning. If you’re hot headed or strong willed, it is very difficult not to react and say the first thing that comes into your head.

No matter how tricky, instead of losing your temper or shutting down, take a minute to breathe. Physically move from where you are and walk or sit somewhere else. Take ten deep breaths and retake control of yourself and your emotions

Why does it bother you?
When you feel ready, calmly look at why you’re affected by the situation. Do you feel wronged? Are you insulted? Do you feel left out?

Ask yourself what your opinion of the situation is. Then, counter it with what the facts actually are. It helps to do this by writing down all the facts, so you can see them in front of you. This way it is easy to see that the facts far outweigh your opinion. Balancing your reaction and hopefully countering some of the negative feelings.

Give a fuck
Now it is time to give the fuck. Physically take some action. What action you take is highly situational and depends on you — but do something. Speak to the colleague about the email, call up the friends to reconnect, even go and have a little cry if it helps.

Whatever it is, acknowledge it with action. Just don’t force the action to create a resolution. Sometimes there isn’t one, and that is okay.

The act of reacting in a healthy way will mean there’s no need to force whatever you’d rather not care about into that box. Give the fuck and then let it go.

As always, if you’ve got any advice that could help people struggling to let go of the little things, drop me an email at lazycatguide@gmail.com.